Tori Oldani
Petty Officer First Class
US Navy – Gunner’s Mate
Kuwait/UAE/Bahrain/Europe
2004-2020
Petty Officer First Class
US Navy – Gunner’s Mate
Kuwait/UAE/Bahrain/Europe
2004-2020
Tori Oldani was born in 1986 in Springfield Illinois. Her parents did not serve in the military, but her great great Uncle Toni did. Tony enlisted at the age of 15 and served a combined 52 years in the Army and Navy. Tony was a boxer while he was in the Army and sparred with Max Schmeling during WW2. Family history has it, Uncle Tony spent a lot of time in the Brigg.
Tori’s is the youngest of three girls. They grew up in a fundamentalist Christian cult known as The Assembly. “We weren’t a normal family being raised in a cult like that.” Tori recalls her parents as being very loving but strict. “My parents are incredibly loving. They are amazing people. I love them.” The Assembly was governed by men who viewed women as subservient. Although her father was a “leading brother”, the equivalent of pastor, he loved his daughters, and he did “an amazing job raising them to be strong independent women”. Despite the love and direction of her parents Tori was sexually abused by her godfather who was a member of the cult. Tori did not tell her parents until she was 22 years old. This would contribute to her struggles later in life.
Her family grew up without much extra money. Tori always had a job and was a hard worker. Her first job was in construction picking up shingles and throwing them in the trash. “My dad taught us all an incredibly good work ethic and independence.”
Tori attended the local public schools. “I was a bit of a wild child. I wouldn’t say I was bad, but I was labeled as a black sheep so that kinda frames your mindset on how you view yourself.” Compared to your average kid I excelled.” Tori was an honor student, but she did not like school. “I was bored all the time.” However, Tori found that she was very athletic. She participated in track, cross country and soccer throughout her years at Southeast High School where she graduated in ‘04
Initially, the military was not an option because the cult taught that you were a “soldier for Christ”. However, Tori was fascinated with the military. Tori’s dad asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. “I told my dad I wanted to design album covers or be an assassin.” Fortunately for Tori, “the cult fell apart” when she was 16. Now the door was open for Tori join the military.
Yearning to get out of her town and be exposed to the world Tori enlisted in the Navy at 17. Tori wanted to be wanted to be a Photographer’s Mate or a Gunner’s Mate. The idea of becoming a specialist in the various weapons and ordinance really appealed to her. Tori also had an artistic streak and photography was a passion. At the time of her enlistment there were no openings as a Photographers Mate and the Navy wasn’t looking to take any additional women as Gunner’s Mates. Based on her scores on the ASVAB the Navy wanted her to go into the nuclear program. Tori had no interest in the nuclear program. “I wanted to use my hands.” After much cajoling Tori was able to talk her way into the Navy as a Gunner’s Mate.
Tori headed to boot camp in Great Lakes, Illinois. “It was a culture shock for me. The toughest part of bootcamp was not being able to talk to my parents.” She excelled at bootcamp, “but I also got in trouble.”
After boot camp she attended Advanced School (A School) for training as a Gunner’s Mate. Tori learned all the Navy’s different weapons systems from small arms through the major weapons systems. After 12 weeks Tori graduated and went home for a short visit with her parents.
Her first orders were to Naval Coastal Warfare which was a new command at the time. Her MOS was Coxswain and she received special training on how to operate small attack and patrol watercraft. She was among the first women to learn to drive small boats and maintain the various ordinance systems.
Her first deployment was to Kuwait for three months and was memorable mainly for the heat. Her next stop was Dubai in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). There she was the driver of various watercraft. The deployment had a high tempo and her crew of four worked 14 hour shifts. Tori and her team operated 11 meter RIF Boats (rigid inflatable boats), 25’ Safe Boats, and 34’ Sea Ark Patrol Boats. Their mission was to escort American assets including tankers, cargo ships, and military vessels in and out of the Port of Dubai through the Strait of Hormuz. I asked Tori what she thought about living in Dubai. “I loved Dubai. We couldn’t wear tank tops and our shorts had to be a certain length. For me that was normal. I grew up in a cult.”
After 8 months Tori returned to Portsmouth, VA for additional training and then headed back to the UAE. During her early days in Navy Tori was a victim of sexual assault but never said anything. “The people that are supposed to have your back….were the ones doing all of the damage.”
After her UAE deployment Tori went to a smaller command known as Naval Special Warfare (NSW) Advanced Training Command. This a SEAL command where SEALs train SEALS. Tori asked, “what’s a SEAL?” She was told these were Tier I Special Forces and she would be training the best of the best. Tori said, “sign me up.”
Before joining the command, she attend a 6 week NSW Advanced Armorers Course. Tori then served side by side with SEAL instructors at the breacher and sniper schools. She was an instructor in the 12 week Sniper School where she taught the SEALS how to break down their weapons, fix them, supply the shooting ranges with ammunition and fix weapons the SEALs could not fix themselves. In the five week Breacher School Tori taught the SEALs how to breakdown their weapons and how to build explosives used to enter buildings.
Her reception was mixed. As the first female in this role, she was not immediately accepted. “They were tough on me.” Over time they came to appreciate Tori’s abilities.
After four and a half years she decided to take a billet in Bahrain for 13 months. She worked on the weapons range where she qualified the sailors on their weapons. It was an intense job and at the end of 13 months she returned to the United States. While in Bahrain Tori was asked to teach the female internal security force in Qatar. This female force had the primary responsibility to protect the wives and daughters of the various Sheiks. The Qatari culture did not allow men to touch the women they would be protecting so they decided to form an all-female protection force. The training focused on shooting and moving, vehicle tactics and protection tactics. Tori said the Qatari women were very capable but hadn’t been provided with the proper training to complete their mission. At the end of the 5 week training program the women had substantially improved. Tori also spent 6 weeks training the Bahraini female security force.
At the end of her tour Tori returned to the United States and received orders to SEAL Team 8 in Little Creek, VA. She was assigned to manage a Maintenance shop with 36 direct reports. For the next four years she ran the shop including two deployments to Stuttgart, Germany.
During her first deployment Tori noticed her memory was slipping and she was suffering from blackouts. She was unaware that throughout her career she had suffered several TBI’s (traumatic brain injury). The constant jarring of the boats, along with the evasive driving, vehicle collisions and the exposure to explosives during the breacher training resulted in 13 documented TBI’s. There were also physical injuries to her back and neck from the battering from high speed J turns on the boats.
Tori’s career in the Navy was marred by incidents of sexual assault along with being placed in extremely compromising positions. One of her trusted mentors had made sexual advances toward her. Although she was able to defuse the situation, Tori would now question whether her accomplishments were based on her abilities or her desirability as a woman. Tori never reported any of these incidents, but they all left their mark. She later learned that these events along with her sexual assault while in the cult would cause PTSD.
In 2016 Tori began to meet with Navy psychologists. After years of fighting their suggestions they ultimately determined that she should be medically retired. This was a tremendous psychological blow to Tori. She loved her career in the Navy and her sense of identity emanated from her ability to do a job she loved and excelled at. The medical retirement process was long and difficult.
When Tori was discharged, she found it difficult to find a job because so much of her time was devoted to dealing with her medical conditions. During her medical discharge process Tori was invited to TEAM SOCOM Warrior Games in Tampa, FL. The Warrior Games is a competition using adaptive sports for military members that have been injured. She was initially reluctant but decided to attend a training camp. Tori found she loved the environment and the people and became actively involved with road biking, competitive swimming, and Recurve Archery. Tori especially enjoyed Recurve Archery because it required her to have intense focus which helped with her PTSD, TBI’s and ADHD. Tori recounted watching an Air Force veteran with no legs and one arm participate in the swimming competition. “He came in dead last but he never gave up. It was so empowering to see. I have all my limbs. I don’t have an excuse at all.” Tori later qualified for Team USA for the Invictus Games.
“My PTSD was not from the enemy. It was from my own people, which was something that was incredibly difficult for me to start tackling.” Tori came to the realization that if you’re not willing to take a hard look at yourself you are not going to get anywhere.
Tori hopes that she can use her experiences to raise awareness and make the path for women in the military more safe and secure than what she experienced. Tori has been on several podcasts and is planning a trek of North America while writing a book about her experiences and how nature and art can help heal trauma.
Tory, thank you for your sacrifices and service. We hope your path to address your physical and mental issues helps you to manage the pain and help others along the way.
Tori’s is the youngest of three girls. They grew up in a fundamentalist Christian cult known as The Assembly. “We weren’t a normal family being raised in a cult like that.” Tori recalls her parents as being very loving but strict. “My parents are incredibly loving. They are amazing people. I love them.” The Assembly was governed by men who viewed women as subservient. Although her father was a “leading brother”, the equivalent of pastor, he loved his daughters, and he did “an amazing job raising them to be strong independent women”. Despite the love and direction of her parents Tori was sexually abused by her godfather who was a member of the cult. Tori did not tell her parents until she was 22 years old. This would contribute to her struggles later in life.
Her family grew up without much extra money. Tori always had a job and was a hard worker. Her first job was in construction picking up shingles and throwing them in the trash. “My dad taught us all an incredibly good work ethic and independence.”
Tori attended the local public schools. “I was a bit of a wild child. I wouldn’t say I was bad, but I was labeled as a black sheep so that kinda frames your mindset on how you view yourself.” Compared to your average kid I excelled.” Tori was an honor student, but she did not like school. “I was bored all the time.” However, Tori found that she was very athletic. She participated in track, cross country and soccer throughout her years at Southeast High School where she graduated in ‘04
Initially, the military was not an option because the cult taught that you were a “soldier for Christ”. However, Tori was fascinated with the military. Tori’s dad asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. “I told my dad I wanted to design album covers or be an assassin.” Fortunately for Tori, “the cult fell apart” when she was 16. Now the door was open for Tori join the military.
Yearning to get out of her town and be exposed to the world Tori enlisted in the Navy at 17. Tori wanted to be wanted to be a Photographer’s Mate or a Gunner’s Mate. The idea of becoming a specialist in the various weapons and ordinance really appealed to her. Tori also had an artistic streak and photography was a passion. At the time of her enlistment there were no openings as a Photographers Mate and the Navy wasn’t looking to take any additional women as Gunner’s Mates. Based on her scores on the ASVAB the Navy wanted her to go into the nuclear program. Tori had no interest in the nuclear program. “I wanted to use my hands.” After much cajoling Tori was able to talk her way into the Navy as a Gunner’s Mate.
Tori headed to boot camp in Great Lakes, Illinois. “It was a culture shock for me. The toughest part of bootcamp was not being able to talk to my parents.” She excelled at bootcamp, “but I also got in trouble.”
After boot camp she attended Advanced School (A School) for training as a Gunner’s Mate. Tori learned all the Navy’s different weapons systems from small arms through the major weapons systems. After 12 weeks Tori graduated and went home for a short visit with her parents.
Her first orders were to Naval Coastal Warfare which was a new command at the time. Her MOS was Coxswain and she received special training on how to operate small attack and patrol watercraft. She was among the first women to learn to drive small boats and maintain the various ordinance systems.
Her first deployment was to Kuwait for three months and was memorable mainly for the heat. Her next stop was Dubai in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). There she was the driver of various watercraft. The deployment had a high tempo and her crew of four worked 14 hour shifts. Tori and her team operated 11 meter RIF Boats (rigid inflatable boats), 25’ Safe Boats, and 34’ Sea Ark Patrol Boats. Their mission was to escort American assets including tankers, cargo ships, and military vessels in and out of the Port of Dubai through the Strait of Hormuz. I asked Tori what she thought about living in Dubai. “I loved Dubai. We couldn’t wear tank tops and our shorts had to be a certain length. For me that was normal. I grew up in a cult.”
After 8 months Tori returned to Portsmouth, VA for additional training and then headed back to the UAE. During her early days in Navy Tori was a victim of sexual assault but never said anything. “The people that are supposed to have your back….were the ones doing all of the damage.”
After her UAE deployment Tori went to a smaller command known as Naval Special Warfare (NSW) Advanced Training Command. This a SEAL command where SEALs train SEALS. Tori asked, “what’s a SEAL?” She was told these were Tier I Special Forces and she would be training the best of the best. Tori said, “sign me up.”
Before joining the command, she attend a 6 week NSW Advanced Armorers Course. Tori then served side by side with SEAL instructors at the breacher and sniper schools. She was an instructor in the 12 week Sniper School where she taught the SEALS how to break down their weapons, fix them, supply the shooting ranges with ammunition and fix weapons the SEALs could not fix themselves. In the five week Breacher School Tori taught the SEALs how to breakdown their weapons and how to build explosives used to enter buildings.
Her reception was mixed. As the first female in this role, she was not immediately accepted. “They were tough on me.” Over time they came to appreciate Tori’s abilities.
After four and a half years she decided to take a billet in Bahrain for 13 months. She worked on the weapons range where she qualified the sailors on their weapons. It was an intense job and at the end of 13 months she returned to the United States. While in Bahrain Tori was asked to teach the female internal security force in Qatar. This female force had the primary responsibility to protect the wives and daughters of the various Sheiks. The Qatari culture did not allow men to touch the women they would be protecting so they decided to form an all-female protection force. The training focused on shooting and moving, vehicle tactics and protection tactics. Tori said the Qatari women were very capable but hadn’t been provided with the proper training to complete their mission. At the end of the 5 week training program the women had substantially improved. Tori also spent 6 weeks training the Bahraini female security force.
At the end of her tour Tori returned to the United States and received orders to SEAL Team 8 in Little Creek, VA. She was assigned to manage a Maintenance shop with 36 direct reports. For the next four years she ran the shop including two deployments to Stuttgart, Germany.
During her first deployment Tori noticed her memory was slipping and she was suffering from blackouts. She was unaware that throughout her career she had suffered several TBI’s (traumatic brain injury). The constant jarring of the boats, along with the evasive driving, vehicle collisions and the exposure to explosives during the breacher training resulted in 13 documented TBI’s. There were also physical injuries to her back and neck from the battering from high speed J turns on the boats.
Tori’s career in the Navy was marred by incidents of sexual assault along with being placed in extremely compromising positions. One of her trusted mentors had made sexual advances toward her. Although she was able to defuse the situation, Tori would now question whether her accomplishments were based on her abilities or her desirability as a woman. Tori never reported any of these incidents, but they all left their mark. She later learned that these events along with her sexual assault while in the cult would cause PTSD.
In 2016 Tori began to meet with Navy psychologists. After years of fighting their suggestions they ultimately determined that she should be medically retired. This was a tremendous psychological blow to Tori. She loved her career in the Navy and her sense of identity emanated from her ability to do a job she loved and excelled at. The medical retirement process was long and difficult.
When Tori was discharged, she found it difficult to find a job because so much of her time was devoted to dealing with her medical conditions. During her medical discharge process Tori was invited to TEAM SOCOM Warrior Games in Tampa, FL. The Warrior Games is a competition using adaptive sports for military members that have been injured. She was initially reluctant but decided to attend a training camp. Tori found she loved the environment and the people and became actively involved with road biking, competitive swimming, and Recurve Archery. Tori especially enjoyed Recurve Archery because it required her to have intense focus which helped with her PTSD, TBI’s and ADHD. Tori recounted watching an Air Force veteran with no legs and one arm participate in the swimming competition. “He came in dead last but he never gave up. It was so empowering to see. I have all my limbs. I don’t have an excuse at all.” Tori later qualified for Team USA for the Invictus Games.
“My PTSD was not from the enemy. It was from my own people, which was something that was incredibly difficult for me to start tackling.” Tori came to the realization that if you’re not willing to take a hard look at yourself you are not going to get anywhere.
Tori hopes that she can use her experiences to raise awareness and make the path for women in the military more safe and secure than what she experienced. Tori has been on several podcasts and is planning a trek of North America while writing a book about her experiences and how nature and art can help heal trauma.
Tory, thank you for your sacrifices and service. We hope your path to address your physical and mental issues helps you to manage the pain and help others along the way.