Airman 1st Class MarieAnn C. Raguso (Retired)
Air National Guard – Security Forces
105th Airlift Wing - 105th Base Defense Squadron
Bagram, Afghanistan
April 2012 – August 2015
Air National Guard – Security Forces
105th Airlift Wing - 105th Base Defense Squadron
Bagram, Afghanistan
April 2012 – August 2015
“Every day could be your last.”
MarieAnn C. Raguso (Mac) was born in Westchester County, NY in 1989. Mac had a difficult upbringing, but she had a love for music and was classically trained in opera. She was offered a full ride to Julliard for opera, but she turned it down due to challenges she was facing at home. At the age of 16, she was emancipated and moved to Ohio with her boyfriend and married him two years later. That marriage ended in 2010 and left her wondering where her life was headed.
Sitting alone in her car one night, the lights to the building across the parking lot lit up. The sign read, “Armed Forces Center.” It was at that moment she decided she would enlist in the military. Mac took a practice ASVAB test that night, but didn’t score well. She talked to the Navy and the Marine Corps and found there weren’t many job options available for women in combat roles. She studied really hard and took a few college courses to better herself. When she finally did visit MEPS, she scored fairly well on the ASVAB test. So much so it got the attention of other branches.
Mac eventually spoke with a recruiter for the 105th Air Wing (Air Force/Air National Guard) and learned how they were looking to fill combat positions and women were eligible. Luckily for Mac, the Air Force was interested in having her aboard as a member of Security Forces. This was a combative force and that was good enough for Mac. She enlisted with the New York Air National Guard 105th Air Lift Wing as part of the 105th Security Forces BDS (Base Defense Squadron).
Mac continued to take college classes during her time in the military and also participated in the wrestling club, amongst other student clubs, at Westchester Community College. This gave her an advantage later during training.
Mac was sent to nine weeks of basic training at Lackland Air Force Base (AFB) in San Antonio, TX. “It was a lot more physically demanding than I thought it was going to be.” The physical training focused on lots of running, marching, mental exhaustion, burpees, and flutter kicks. “Burpees and flutter kicks became the bane of my existence.” There was a six month break after basic training. Mac returned to Lackland AFB for her technical school which was the 343rd Security Forces Academy.
Security Forces training lasted three and a half months and included learning the fundamentals of law enforcement, combatives, land navigation, shooting, clearing rooms and sorting friendlies from enemy forces, learning international law such as the Geneva Convention, and more. Mac also participated in ECAC (Evasion and Conduct After Capture) while at Lakeland AFB. ECAC is a course given to Air Force personnel deployed to high-risk locations where the risk of capture may be high.
Mac enjoyed her training and performed well in her combative course. “You take a ridiculous amount of tests” to make sure the airmen were absorbing and retaining their training. “I made friends for life.” Mac mentioned that everyone got along very well during training “and there was limited drama.”
Mac wanted to get into the fight. When she returned to her Air National Guard unit she volunteered to go on the next available deployment. As luck would have it, there was an opening for a deployment within the next 30 days. The bad news was that she missed a good portion of the pre-deployment workup.
Mac and her team of 29 deployed in June of 2013 to Bagram AFB in Afghanistan which is 60 km north of Kabul in east central Afghanistan. She was the lowest ranking person deployed in country at that time. “It is such a beautiful country. It almost feels like you’ve stepped back into biblical times in a way.” She commented that most of the Afghanis she interacted with were farmers and that opium was a major crop. Mac recalls she was only permitted to speak to Afghani women as the men would automatically ignore her. “The men require that woman only speak to women; they do not speak to men.” She found corruption was commonplace. She also found the typical Afghani family was just trying to survive.
“Everything was creepy quiet while I was working outside-the-wire (during Ramadan). We didn’t have any death or anything crazy during that time. Then three weeks into Ramadan, which was July 27th of 2013, my truck was blown up.” Mac’s team was on a patrol to set up LP/OPs. These were listening points and observation points where they would listen in and observe what was going on in the area. Prior to running over the IED (Improvised Explosive Device) Mac noticed villagers were filming their vehicle. “The Taliban would give these villagers money for filming people that don’t belong there… to film our deaths.” Mac’s vehicle moved on and an hour later her truck was blown up by a 200-pound IED. Later that night an Army hummer passed through the area where Mac observed the villagers filming and their truck hit an IED, killing all four soldiers on board.
Mac was driving the vehicle, and her sergeant was riding in the passenger’s seat when the bomb exploded. The vehicle was thrown 15 feet into the air before crashing down. The power of the blast disintegrated the front tire on the passenger’s side. Through the windshield she saw the headlights of the vehicle throwing off an orange light through the smoke. There was rubble and debris everywhere. The blast was so strong it ripped them out of their seat belts and launched the 50-caliber machine gun into the air. The machine gunner, unbeknownst to him, had several broken bones in his back but still went looking for the machine gun. All four aboard seemed to have lost sense of time. She thought she was trapped in the vehicle for 20 minutes, but it was in reality, three hours. When Mac was extracted, she was in shock and unsure of her injuries. Mac didn’t have external injuries, but she did have internal injuries including an inability to properly focus her eyesight, a TBI, a herniated disk, and a sprained knee. When she looked through the scope of her rifle, there should have been one red dot. Her vision was so eschewed that she was seeing several red dots. Three weeks later Mac was Medevac’d out of country, where she ultimately ended up undergoing treatment at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, MD.
Upon leaving behind her team, Mac felt survivor’s guilt after her “litter team buddy” was killed in action on September 5th, 2013. 23-year-old Staff Sergeant T.J. Lobraico from Fairfield, CT was killed during an ambush. This has left Mac with survivors’ guilt, along with her own PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from the IED-blast she had experienced.
Amazingly, the coalition forces with the help of the village elder were able to track down the bomb maker of the IED that detonated under Mac’s truck and the Army hummer. “His name was Saddam Hussain. It’s a common name over there, like John Smith.” The bomb maker turned out to be a High Value Target and was turned over to outside authorities. Mac thinks the bomb maker ultimately found a new home in the prison on the Guantanamo Bay base.
Mac remained at Walter Reed’s Wounded Warrior Clinic for four and a half months. While at the Wounded Warrior Clinic she met President Barak Obama and Vice President Joe Biden, and numerous celebrities like Gary Sinise. After she was discharged from Walter Reed she was returned home where she would eventually be medically retired from the military. Over the next few years, she struggled. Mac started to date a Marine who was also fighting internal demons. “He committed suicide in our garage, and my neighbor, her daughter, and I had to cut him down.”
Unlike the GI’s from World War II who gave each other support, Mac didn’t have
that, but she knew she needed to find her tribe. While enrolled at SUNY Westchester Community College (post-deployment), she joined the Veterans Club and connections. “I made friends for life.” These friends, her professors, and her schoolwork helped her get back on track. Mac graduated with her associate’s degree in liberal arts and went on to Manhattanville College where she earned a bachelor’s degree in sociology and anthropology and her master’s degree in fine arts with an advanced certificate in education. From there she went on to earn her PhD in behavioral science, criminal justice, and education from NOVA Southeastern University. Mac’s dissertation for her PhD was “Understanding the Transitional Needs of Servicemembers to Veterans: A focus on mental, social, and behavioral health.” She became an advocate over time.
Mac has also founded a not-for-profit CCLT4Vets, aka Crazy Cat Lady Therapy for Veterans (CCLT), Inc. Crazy Cat Lady, was a nickname Mac earned while at Walter Reed. CCLT4Vets helps veterans, first responders, and current servicemembers to connect with others like them and immerse themselves in an environment where they feel secure because, as the website says, they “have your 6.” Have your 6 is the military lingo for having each other’s back. Through a series of outdoor activities, painting, writing or just socializing with other veterans, CCLT4Vets patrons can build a support system to help them deal with the invisible wounds and to rediscover their cognitive strengths, which is a common problem for like them.
Mac is also in the process of founding a startup business that offers research reports, data collection, writing and editorial services to help larger businesses make more informed-decisions and improve workplace culture. She has also found Kevin, the love of her life and a former Navy submariner. Mac has also been using her operatic voice to sing the National Anthem at various events up and down the east coast.
Mac, the nation thanks you for your service and all that you have endured from the IED blast. As you continue to recover, write your own story and help other veterans you are an inspiration for everyone.
Keeping connections is very important for all veterans and Mac remains in contact with her gunner and a few other members from the 105th Security Forces BDS. “We check in every single week.” strategy enhancement
MarieAnn C. Raguso (Mac) was born in Westchester County, NY in 1989. Mac had a difficult upbringing, but she had a love for music and was classically trained in opera. She was offered a full ride to Julliard for opera, but she turned it down due to challenges she was facing at home. At the age of 16, she was emancipated and moved to Ohio with her boyfriend and married him two years later. That marriage ended in 2010 and left her wondering where her life was headed.
Sitting alone in her car one night, the lights to the building across the parking lot lit up. The sign read, “Armed Forces Center.” It was at that moment she decided she would enlist in the military. Mac took a practice ASVAB test that night, but didn’t score well. She talked to the Navy and the Marine Corps and found there weren’t many job options available for women in combat roles. She studied really hard and took a few college courses to better herself. When she finally did visit MEPS, she scored fairly well on the ASVAB test. So much so it got the attention of other branches.
Mac eventually spoke with a recruiter for the 105th Air Wing (Air Force/Air National Guard) and learned how they were looking to fill combat positions and women were eligible. Luckily for Mac, the Air Force was interested in having her aboard as a member of Security Forces. This was a combative force and that was good enough for Mac. She enlisted with the New York Air National Guard 105th Air Lift Wing as part of the 105th Security Forces BDS (Base Defense Squadron).
Mac continued to take college classes during her time in the military and also participated in the wrestling club, amongst other student clubs, at Westchester Community College. This gave her an advantage later during training.
Mac was sent to nine weeks of basic training at Lackland Air Force Base (AFB) in San Antonio, TX. “It was a lot more physically demanding than I thought it was going to be.” The physical training focused on lots of running, marching, mental exhaustion, burpees, and flutter kicks. “Burpees and flutter kicks became the bane of my existence.” There was a six month break after basic training. Mac returned to Lackland AFB for her technical school which was the 343rd Security Forces Academy.
Security Forces training lasted three and a half months and included learning the fundamentals of law enforcement, combatives, land navigation, shooting, clearing rooms and sorting friendlies from enemy forces, learning international law such as the Geneva Convention, and more. Mac also participated in ECAC (Evasion and Conduct After Capture) while at Lakeland AFB. ECAC is a course given to Air Force personnel deployed to high-risk locations where the risk of capture may be high.
Mac enjoyed her training and performed well in her combative course. “You take a ridiculous amount of tests” to make sure the airmen were absorbing and retaining their training. “I made friends for life.” Mac mentioned that everyone got along very well during training “and there was limited drama.”
Mac wanted to get into the fight. When she returned to her Air National Guard unit she volunteered to go on the next available deployment. As luck would have it, there was an opening for a deployment within the next 30 days. The bad news was that she missed a good portion of the pre-deployment workup.
Mac and her team of 29 deployed in June of 2013 to Bagram AFB in Afghanistan which is 60 km north of Kabul in east central Afghanistan. She was the lowest ranking person deployed in country at that time. “It is such a beautiful country. It almost feels like you’ve stepped back into biblical times in a way.” She commented that most of the Afghanis she interacted with were farmers and that opium was a major crop. Mac recalls she was only permitted to speak to Afghani women as the men would automatically ignore her. “The men require that woman only speak to women; they do not speak to men.” She found corruption was commonplace. She also found the typical Afghani family was just trying to survive.
“Everything was creepy quiet while I was working outside-the-wire (during Ramadan). We didn’t have any death or anything crazy during that time. Then three weeks into Ramadan, which was July 27th of 2013, my truck was blown up.” Mac’s team was on a patrol to set up LP/OPs. These were listening points and observation points where they would listen in and observe what was going on in the area. Prior to running over the IED (Improvised Explosive Device) Mac noticed villagers were filming their vehicle. “The Taliban would give these villagers money for filming people that don’t belong there… to film our deaths.” Mac’s vehicle moved on and an hour later her truck was blown up by a 200-pound IED. Later that night an Army hummer passed through the area where Mac observed the villagers filming and their truck hit an IED, killing all four soldiers on board.
Mac was driving the vehicle, and her sergeant was riding in the passenger’s seat when the bomb exploded. The vehicle was thrown 15 feet into the air before crashing down. The power of the blast disintegrated the front tire on the passenger’s side. Through the windshield she saw the headlights of the vehicle throwing off an orange light through the smoke. There was rubble and debris everywhere. The blast was so strong it ripped them out of their seat belts and launched the 50-caliber machine gun into the air. The machine gunner, unbeknownst to him, had several broken bones in his back but still went looking for the machine gun. All four aboard seemed to have lost sense of time. She thought she was trapped in the vehicle for 20 minutes, but it was in reality, three hours. When Mac was extracted, she was in shock and unsure of her injuries. Mac didn’t have external injuries, but she did have internal injuries including an inability to properly focus her eyesight, a TBI, a herniated disk, and a sprained knee. When she looked through the scope of her rifle, there should have been one red dot. Her vision was so eschewed that she was seeing several red dots. Three weeks later Mac was Medevac’d out of country, where she ultimately ended up undergoing treatment at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, MD.
Upon leaving behind her team, Mac felt survivor’s guilt after her “litter team buddy” was killed in action on September 5th, 2013. 23-year-old Staff Sergeant T.J. Lobraico from Fairfield, CT was killed during an ambush. This has left Mac with survivors’ guilt, along with her own PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from the IED-blast she had experienced.
Amazingly, the coalition forces with the help of the village elder were able to track down the bomb maker of the IED that detonated under Mac’s truck and the Army hummer. “His name was Saddam Hussain. It’s a common name over there, like John Smith.” The bomb maker turned out to be a High Value Target and was turned over to outside authorities. Mac thinks the bomb maker ultimately found a new home in the prison on the Guantanamo Bay base.
Mac remained at Walter Reed’s Wounded Warrior Clinic for four and a half months. While at the Wounded Warrior Clinic she met President Barak Obama and Vice President Joe Biden, and numerous celebrities like Gary Sinise. After she was discharged from Walter Reed she was returned home where she would eventually be medically retired from the military. Over the next few years, she struggled. Mac started to date a Marine who was also fighting internal demons. “He committed suicide in our garage, and my neighbor, her daughter, and I had to cut him down.”
Unlike the GI’s from World War II who gave each other support, Mac didn’t have
that, but she knew she needed to find her tribe. While enrolled at SUNY Westchester Community College (post-deployment), she joined the Veterans Club and connections. “I made friends for life.” These friends, her professors, and her schoolwork helped her get back on track. Mac graduated with her associate’s degree in liberal arts and went on to Manhattanville College where she earned a bachelor’s degree in sociology and anthropology and her master’s degree in fine arts with an advanced certificate in education. From there she went on to earn her PhD in behavioral science, criminal justice, and education from NOVA Southeastern University. Mac’s dissertation for her PhD was “Understanding the Transitional Needs of Servicemembers to Veterans: A focus on mental, social, and behavioral health.” She became an advocate over time.
Mac has also founded a not-for-profit CCLT4Vets, aka Crazy Cat Lady Therapy for Veterans (CCLT), Inc. Crazy Cat Lady, was a nickname Mac earned while at Walter Reed. CCLT4Vets helps veterans, first responders, and current servicemembers to connect with others like them and immerse themselves in an environment where they feel secure because, as the website says, they “have your 6.” Have your 6 is the military lingo for having each other’s back. Through a series of outdoor activities, painting, writing or just socializing with other veterans, CCLT4Vets patrons can build a support system to help them deal with the invisible wounds and to rediscover their cognitive strengths, which is a common problem for like them.
Mac is also in the process of founding a startup business that offers research reports, data collection, writing and editorial services to help larger businesses make more informed-decisions and improve workplace culture. She has also found Kevin, the love of her life and a former Navy submariner. Mac has also been using her operatic voice to sing the National Anthem at various events up and down the east coast.
Mac, the nation thanks you for your service and all that you have endured from the IED blast. As you continue to recover, write your own story and help other veterans you are an inspiration for everyone.
Keeping connections is very important for all veterans and Mac remains in contact with her gunner and a few other members from the 105th Security Forces BDS. “We check in every single week.” strategy enhancement